i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
