some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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