I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
