Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize