weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
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