Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
