Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
My Higher Power is John Stamos
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
