I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
