East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
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