you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
