guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
