and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
