Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
