So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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