the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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