i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
