its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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