thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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