you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
did i walk over a car last night?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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