wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
