White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
