yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize