Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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