Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
