Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
