his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
