I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
