Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i dont even know how to be here
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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