That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
