weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
