I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
