i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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