just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize