Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
