Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize