If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
