you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
