You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Reggie can tackle my bush.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
