Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
