My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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