I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
