HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
she told me i tasted like america
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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