id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize