No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
