i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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