Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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