Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
