Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
