do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize