Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Man, jail baloney is awful.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
