it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
