Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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