The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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