Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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