Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
