this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
