How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
