I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
