There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
