gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
