I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
