On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
