So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
